happy mother’s day

Mother’s Day- the day to celebrate moms and all they do or so we are told.

I did what a lot of people did yesterday…went to church (per usual for us anyway).  I sat through another message on mothers. Proverbs 31 is so beautiful. But not so much when you know you are everything BUT a Proverbs 31 woman. Every time the pastor talked about the traits husbands and sons should be thanking their wife and mother for, I felt another punch in the gut. I’m just over here trying to SURVIVE. I am not rising early unless I have to take the kids to school and even then I am in a fog trying to sort through the disturbing dreams that haunted me most of the night. And no, my kids don’t rise up and call me blessed. They tattle on me to my husband. They push my buttons. They fight. They whine about every meal, every outfit, every time I make the mistake of opening my mouth. My mind is always too preoccupied to focus beyond keeping them alive. It hurts too much.

Mother’s Day is just a reminder of all the ways I fail every single day.  Maybe some year moms will be celebrated for the effort they put into living and keeping everyone alive with them. Maybe some year being average will be ok.

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