i wouldn’t wish me on anyone

I am sure reading that phrase would anyone counter by telling me I must have little to no self esteem to say something this drastic. Perhaps, or maybe it is the fact that I am looking at things from a more realistic perspective. I am viewing […]

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stranger things- my version

The day you wake up and realize you married a stranger is the day what was left of your world comes crashing down, threatening to smother you in ways you never thought possible.  It is also the day that you realize how very alone you […]

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The day I changed my name

I feel like I have neglected this little haven of mine. I could blame it on the business of summer, kids, family, moving, work….but I won’t because the truth is, my head has been spinning.  My sessions with my “special friend” (we will call her […]

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happy mother’s day

Mother’s Day- the day to celebrate moms and all they do or so we are told. I did what a lot of people did yesterday…went to church (per usual for us anyway).  I sat through another message on mothers. Proverbs 31 is so beautiful. But […]

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yes, I see a shrink

She is helping- by hurting me. It’s such an oxymoron to say that but it’s true. She is the surgeon, cutting, digging, prodding. She knows it hurts me but sees that it must be done and I am the willing patient who has signed the […]

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the forgotten road

It’s there- buried by the brush and overgrowth of scars, of emotional callouses that have built up to wall off the flood of pain that can be found at the end. It’s that road you suspect is hiding in that walled off part of your […]

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generations

I stood there mindlessly peeling hardboiled eggs, listening to the chaos in the background. It may have been mindless work but my brain was in turmoil, fighting through more than I can describe. I could hear the kids fighting, older brother picking on little sister […]

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silence is golden…but not in my house

Being married to someone who is so stiff and robotic is my kryptonite. And the silence….it’s like having a plastic bag over my head that gets tighter and tighter, less and less oxygen reaching my lungs. I stand there in church singing during worship and […]

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today i’m angry

Today I am angry. It’s more like a combination of angry and sad. I am sad because I feel like my life is just slipping away and all I have to show for it is monotony, bad decisions, and lost opportunity. I am angry because […]

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